you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
