ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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