those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
