You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
