It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
