I just made out with a guy for $7.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Randomize