weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
This is the high leading the old right now
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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