Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
