my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
