We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
