im having a threesome with these popsicles
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
