We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
