So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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