Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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