I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
