Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
