We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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