Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The uberlube is also flammable
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize