i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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