Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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