well you can't waste a boner
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
