you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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