I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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