loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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