We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
