So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
His nipple licking is glorious
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