i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
