the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
