he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
