And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
