I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
