Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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