You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
