My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
