well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
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