...so i touched it.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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