I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
