Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
