you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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