haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
