Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The power of my boobs compel you
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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