Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
