was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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