You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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