I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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