I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
