Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
