Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
