It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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