I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
