I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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