He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
