the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
