people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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