He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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