Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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