I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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