I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
