where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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