you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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