sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize