i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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