a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
