I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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