she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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