it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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