we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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