So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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