If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize