you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
